I finally have a day off and I have so much to get caught up on...mostly laundry. I don't know how in the world I'm going to do it, considering the washer is in the basement and I'm on the third floor. I may just bag it all up, throw it over the balcony and take it to the laundromat. But then I'd have to carry it back upstairs...ugh. I can't win.
I've been reading a lot about Fibro and it makes sense. It seems people who had a lot of physical and emotional abuse growing up are more prone to developing FM. Also, I was sick all the time as a kid and that is a factor later in life. The only reason I'm still wondering if it's MS is because of all the numbness. My MRI was clear, although that doesn't necessarily mean it's NOT MS, I'm thinking more Fibro. Either way, it sucks.
I think the worst part, besides the pain, is admitting I need help doing things. I've always been very independent, but now I need more help and can't do as much as I used to. Last weekend I helped my mom around her house and I thought I was going to die. I actually wished for death, especially by the time I got back home. But I still think I'm invincible and can do whatever. I just don't like asking for help, especially from my man, since he has MS and is usually hurting too. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Some days the pain is so overwhelming...it really drags you down emotionally. It just gets old, hurting constantly. On a good day, my pain is down to a 4-5 (scale of 1-10) but most days, it's at least an 8. I often pray for the numbness to set in, although it has its drawbacks too. Counting back change to a customer is such fun when you can't feel your fingers! hehe
I'm exhausted...think it's time for a morning nap.
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