I know I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been busy with Toby the Rescue Rat. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you already know the story. He's my sweet boy and gives me something to look forward to each day. He'll be three weeks old tomorrow and is in his independent stage now, wanting to explore and taste test crumbs on the floor. Toby makes me happy and takes my mind off things.
I've been so exhausted the past few days, like I'm always drugged. That feeling you have when you come out from anesthesia and everything is fuzzy...that's very close to how I've felt. I honestly don't know how I've functioned at times. I also went cane shopping. Once in awhile my legs feel like they're not going to work, so I thought I'd get a cane to use occasionally. I don't want people to think I'm milking my condition though. I shouldn't care...but I do.
Some days the pain is overwhelming. I just want to curl up in a ball and stay in bed, but I can't. Life still happens and there's nothing I can do about it. It's very frustrating when I can't do the things I want, when I want. I let people down and that's not the type of person I am. I'm supposed to be independent and taking care of others, not me needing the help. I hate it.
I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, but some days it's really hard. Like today.
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